April Fools' Day aka fanfic 5
by hollybridgetpeppermint
Summary: It's April Fools' Day. This fic chronicles Holly's attempts to play a good ol' April Fools' prank on Artemis.


"Wake up, Artemis! Happy April Fools' Day!" said a voice. Artemis groggily mumbled something, but the voice persisted.

"Come on, rise and shine!"

"Go 'way."

"No, it's time to get up."

"Wha' time isit?

"Seven."

He opened his eyes and shut them again immediately. The light was on, and it hurt his eyes. After a minute he opened them up again cautiously, and looked around, squinting. Then he groaned. There, in his desk chair, was…

"Holly!"

"What?" she asked innocently.

"A genius needs his sleep."

"Not today, you don't. Today is April Fools' Day, and I want you up bright and early to help me play tricks on people."

"I don't play tricks," said Artemis, now fully awake. "Besides, you know that if you play a trick on either of the Butlers, they might be annoyed."

"Oh, right. Well, we can still play tricks on your parents."

"Oh, they'll be delighted," he said sarcastically. "Give it up, Holly."

"Fine." She went out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Artemis lay there for a minute, then sighed. _I might as well get up_, he thought. He got dressed and came downstairs.

"I fixed you a bowl of cereal," said Holly brightly. He came over to the table and sat down, and she placed his breakfast in front of him. He looked at it for a minute, then looked at her and noticed her shoulders were shaking from suppressed laughter as she bustled around the kitchen. He sighed again and, undignified as it was, stuck his fingers into the bowl, sloshing his hand around the Life and milk until he found what he was looking for and pulled it up. It was a plastic spider.

"Just as I thought. Nice try, Holly."

She looked over.

"Oh, that. Happy April Fools' Day."

"Thank you," he said, and began to eat—slowly, eyeing every spoonful, just in case there were more spiders.

He finished breakfast and went upstairs, then washed his hands, checking the faucet first. Sure enough, there was a rubber band on it. He pulled the rubber band off.

"Nice try, Holly!" he called down the stairs. Then he washed and dried his hands and went to his room to get his shoes on so he could go for a walk and be alone. He got to his room, went to his closet and got the shoes, feeling around in the toes. Sure enough, his hand hit something mushy. Oatmeal.

"Nice try, Holly!"

He grabbed another pair of shoes, and, after making sure there was nothing in them either, put them on. Then he walked to the front door and paused. He took a long string from his pocket and tied it to the handle. Then he stepped a ways back and pulled. The door came open and a bucket of water came down. It splashed all over, but Artemis was now a good twenty feet away, so he didn't get a drop of water on him.

"Nice try, Holly!"

Artemis went outside, shutting the door carefully behind him. After a nice, relaxing walk (during which he had to avoid Holly's tractor trying to run him over three times), he went back inside. He went to his room and opened his filing cabinet, stepping back quickly to avoid the animal he knew would come out. It turned out to be rats. Artemis rolled his eyes.

"Nice try, Holly!"

He extracted the papers he needed, then sat down tentatively on his desk chair and leaped up again. Sure enough, it broke.

"Nice try, Holly! Where did you put my real chair?"

"It's down here!"

He went downstairs, careful to avoid the trip wire.

"Nice try, Holly," he said as he came upon her sitting calmly at a stool in the kitchen.

"Thanks. Your chair is in what used to be my cell."

They carried the chair up the stairs together. On the way, Artemis said to Holly:

"You know, your tricks are no match for my genius."

"We'll see about that," she snickered.

Artemis raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really?"

"Yes. Really."

They got the chair into his room, and he sat down and began working at his computer. He started to hack into Interpol (he needed some information) and stopped. Holly was still in the doorway.

"What do you need?" Artemis asked her coolly.

"Nothing," she replied, and quickly walked out of the room. He sighed and finished hacking. As soon as he got in, though, the screen went white. Thinking it had crashed, he was getting up from his desk chair when green words on the computer caught his attention.

_Sorry, you can't hack in. I don't like you anymore._

Artemis pressed Delete.

"Nice try, Holly!" he called after her. Then he went downstairs. As he crossed the main hall, he failed to see a small device disguised to look like a floor tile. He stepped on it and a cage came crashing down around him. When the dust cleared, there was Holly, standing looking down at him.

"Well," she said.

"I didn't think you knew enough about technology to set something like that up," he told her, raising his eyebrows.

"Butler helped me," she said brightly. "A kind of enemy trap."

"So I'm an enemy?"  
"Well, not really. But since it's the first of April…"

Artemis sighed. "Okay, I'll say it. You won. Even my genius and superiority couldn't defeat your trick. Although, technically, it was Butler's trick."

"Whatever," she said. "Now I can let you out." She put her foot on another tile. Nothing happened.

"Oh, great," said Holly. She knelt down and started examining the tile. After a moment, she sighed and stood up. "I think I'd better ask Butler about this."

Artemis put his head in his hands.

"Nice going, Holly."

She smiled at him.

"April Fools!" She pressed her foot down on another tile, and the cage came up again. Artemis groaned and got to his feet.

"Happy April Fools' day, Artemis!"


End file.
